Tivu shook his head in an attempt to shake himself free from the pensive moment that had drawn him in.
Focusing on the task at hand, he proceeded to pick up a few pieces of the
fragmented figure
before him. He pushed them back into the frame, trying to force them into some recognisable pattern.
He gasped as one cut his finger but quickly held his breath. “Ouch, that stings,” he heard the childlike voice lament.
“You think this is pain?!”
The firm voice scolded again. As he looked at the blood on his finger, visions of red
painted brick appeared. Red brick paved lanes leading to the market of his home town. The civil war had left his home town red, and
he never forgot
the moment he and his sister dropped the freshly made market bread and ran to hide under the nearest pile of discards. Tivu had never spoken to anyone here
about the scenes he had witnessed as a child that day. He had never shared
with anyone how the sounds of fireworks ringing in the start of a new year still reminded him of those orchestrated beats that had directed the beginning
of the end.
Tivu felt that he travelled the space of non-belongingness, between
origin and destination, and when attempting to trespass the borders into one
or the other to be truly and holistically known, he was quickly sent back to the
purgatory-like outlands.
He was not one or the other, never felt similar
enough to one or the other. In a way, he knew that his inner being was a
medley of his exposures to extreme worlds incomprehensible to close others
in either one of these worlds. So, he had started arming himself with
interpersonal distance
at these purgatory-like outlands in an attempt to undergo a
social and cultural fast….
This creative book chapter I wrote delves deep into the experiences of navigating cultural and sexual identities as an immigrant while feeling displaced from home and family. Please see below for book link to access the whole chapter.
See Purple Jacaranda for the whole Chapter “Tivu”, a creative piece about the experiences of an immigrant with intersectional identities, navigating borders. Borders of home and host land but also those of identities often viewed as oppositional…
Below you will see some of my storytelling pieces blended with videography, poetry and my own composed music. I share this with the hope to stimulate questioning, initiate discourse, and perhaps-just perhaps to help someone feel less alone…
For SUBTITLES, please click “CC”. Best with headphones.
Grief is a universal experience- one we can all relate to . But do we prioritize certain types of grief over others in our Western individualistic context ? Are we immersed in the book of a certain type of grief template … or can we look up from it to notice other stories deserve space? Script, voiceover, background music, intro/outro music and vocals composed and written by Mel Choubak @ GlowingPainsPsych. Stock images from Pexels, Pixabay, and Unsplash-thank you to the photographers/videographers.
For SUBTITLES, please click “CC”. Best with headphones.
The fire of burnout cannot be blamed on the individual when our collective house is on fire. The psychological arson of toxic environments and oppressive systems can leave us in ashes. But our ashes still hold glowing embers. While no one person is fire-proof, as a community we can spare enough buckets when the fire spreads. So next time, when you see charred walls bring a ladder and look inside…
Script, voiceover, background music, intro/outro music and vocals composed and written by Mel Choubak @ GlowingPainsPsych. Stock images from Pexels, Pixabay, and Unsplash-thank you to the photographers/videographers.
For SUBTITLES, please click “CC”. Best with headphones.
Have you ever felt like you lost your sense of self due to trauma, stigma, and adversity? Who am I anymore with all the experiences and people that have tried to suppress my identities? I have certainly been there…Losing our identity can lead us toward emotional and mental burnout. You are not alone in feeling this. Your story matters.
Script, voiceover, background music, intro/outro music and vocals composed and written by me Mel Choubak @ GlowingPainsPsych. Stock images from Pexels, Pixabay, and Unsplash-thank you to the photographers/videographers. For SUBTITLES, please click “CC”. Best with headphones.
Here is also a sample of a song I wrote the lyrics of and sang. The act of using your voice is therapeutic on so many levels. And everyone of us can use their voice in their own unique type of way.
War, trauma, loss, displacement…As diaspora, we opened our wings to fly to another land. Yet many of us faced the bars of persecution…
Beat by feezemoney, lyrics & vocals by Mel Choubak